When I talked about my sister I always said “my little sister” - In Dutch “mijn zusje” because she was almost five years younger than me.
I always will remember her as a very dear and caring sister and a busy one too. She always has been that way. I’ve visited her very often and sometimes my brother John and his wife Julie came over too and we had a lot of fun together. But she couldn’t sit still for a minute. She was running around, doing her laundry or watering her plants or she went to the mall: always busy.
Only when there was tennis on tv would she sit on the edge of her bed, with her cat sitting with her, watching tennis for hours.
When John and Julie came over we played canasta and that was fun. John would tell jokes in between and we had a great time together. We were very close - the three of us - because we had a very difficult time when we were young.
During the Second World War Henny was always so skinny. When she was 7 or 8 years old, the school was sent her to a farm because she was underweight, but after a couple of days she was so homesick that they sent me to that farm too. The farmer had one little daughter, more my age. Henny was so happy to see me and everything was alright.
That farmer called her Piet, Peter in Dutch, because she was always busy with the animals and she was so dirty every day She always has been fond of animals. She went with the farmer milking the cows and there were pigs and chickens and a horse...she had a wonderful time on that farm.
But after a year or so, we suddenly had to go home, because they thought that the war was going to an end. But it didn't and the last year of the war was really bad. We were not really suffering, we had fun, but it was terrible for our parents because they couldn’t feed their children.
But we survived. And we have a very strong bond with each other. We went through a lot too when our father married again. We had a very tough time and I always admired Henny that she still has finished her school, because it wasn’t easy for her when our father was very ill and passed away. She was his favourite because she was always so skinny and she was still his baby.
When Henny was visiting me than we always went to The Hague on our nostalgic tour for a few days. We stayed in a hotel at Scheveningen and visited all the places of our childhood and, of course, the house where we were born.
Max, my son, has told the story when we visited our house in The Hague and the lady of the house found some animals that belonged to the Christmas stable. Henny suddenly started crying and I asked her, What is the matter? She told us that she still could remember that the little dog's nose was damaged.
That lady had kept it for us and hoped that we came along to get it. We’ve given Henny all those animals and maybe she has put them every year to her Christmas stable. Maybe you and Robert can find it and put it on your Christmas stable as a memory of Henny’s childhood.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Henny
There is no question that my mother-in-law Henny Scherer left us far too soon but perhaps we shouldn’t have been too surprised because the thing is, Henny never stayed put for long.
Henny was a whirlwind. She shopped. She cooked. She gardened. She painted the house. She took a short break for a cappuccino. She played tennis. She learned about computers and home renovations. She laughed. She loved. She lived with passion and verve and humor.
She was my inspiration.
I first met Henny on a Sunday afternoon almost 11 years ago shortly after I started dating her son Robert. I learned later that she had demanded it after my name had been repeatedly dropped at a family dinner the night before. Apparently she had turned to Robert and said “That’s enough – now who the hell is this Kelly?!”
She couldn’t have yet known that soon I would be her biggest fan.
There are two things that no one can deny. The first is that Henny’s sons Robert and Peter both married very strong and outspoken women. The second is that both Robert and Peter adored their mother.
I like to think that perhaps Henny’s sons see a little bit of their mother in both LeeAnne and I, but perhaps I flatter myself, because truly, Henny was an original.
Henny was born in 1935 in The Hague in the Netherlands. Much of her childhood was spent under Nazi occupation. She didn’t like to talk about those years but she allowed this: there was hunger, there was pain and there was the constant fear that her older brother Eugene would be caught and punished for his role in the underground resistance.
Eugene was eventually caught and his death in a concentration camp was followed a few years later by her mother’s death, of a broken heart, Henny said.
But Henny, the baby of the family was already showing the determination and the resilience that we associate with her all these years later. At the earliest possible opportunity she joined the Dutch air force and immigrated to western Canada. A few years later in Toronto the gorgeous Dutch girl met a dashing Austrian immigrant named Karl Scherer and fell madly in love.
When she dated Karl Henny worked as a flight attendant. She said they would routinely pile into his little car and break all land speed records trying to get her to the Toronto airport in time for work where she was supposed to board the plane a half hour before passengers.
They never made it on time. But they didn’t care: They were on Scherer time.
Scherer time, for those of you who don’t know, runs approximately a half hour behind everyone else’s time.
Rob says one of his earliest memories was of his mom driving him to school every day and breaking more land speed records in the process. He remembers that one day the priest came over the intercom and advised all the students to keep a lookout and report on a green Chevy Nova that was loudly peeling into and out of the parking lot every morning.
Rob says he remembers how his classmates’ eyes widened around him and a whisper rippled through the room – “THAT’S ROB’S MOM!”
Yes, Henny was always in a hurry. But that was only because she was determined to make every minute of every day count. She had no time to waste and no patience for wasted time.
Right up until Christmas Henny looked after my son Graham one day a week while I was at work. I grew accustomed to arriving home to find our grocery shopping done, our house cleaned, our windows washed and our lawn and garden tended. And as for our son? He would be thoroughly loved, thoroughly exhausted and thoroughly proud of his new found ability to swear in Dutch.
Yes, I was spoiled to have a babysitter like Henny. We were all spoiled because Henny loved and cared for her family with the same zest and enthusiasm she brought to every area of her life.
Henny’s grandchildren Jordan, Cailey and Graham were her pride and her joy. She loved them with a ferocity that was absolutely beautiful to behold. She went out of her way to make each of them feel special and spend time with them individually. She really considered their personalities and thought, really thought, about how she could best try and meet their emotional needs.
Henny was thoughtful that way with all of us. She was always thinking about what we might need and was often stopping by with groceries we were short of, incidentals we hadn’t had time to buy and clothing and small gifts that she thought we would enjoy.
As a newlywed I will admit that it took me some time to adjust to having a mother-in-law who was such a big part of my day to day life. But very soon, and especially after the birth of my son, I took it for what it was: a true blessing.
I already have a wonderful mother and I like to think it is she who taught me how to be a mother myself. But Henny became my second mother and she taught me something different. Henny taught me how to be a mother-in-law: she taught me that when you have a son, if you want to stay close to that son, you must open your heart and love his wife as if she were a daughter.
And so she did.
And I loved her back. And I am all the richer for it – we are ALL the richer for her love. Karl, Peter, LeeAnne, Robert and I and especially her grandchildren. Our family’s challenge from this day forward will be to continue to love one other the way she loved us.
And I think we will.
I think we will try and love each other with the same kind of passion that she had for us. Because that is what Henny would have wanted and everyone here knows that when Henny wanted something she usually got it.
In fact, I’m pretty sure that by now that all the souls in heaven – God, the angels and all the saints - they’re all running on Scherer time.
Henny was a whirlwind. She shopped. She cooked. She gardened. She painted the house. She took a short break for a cappuccino. She played tennis. She learned about computers and home renovations. She laughed. She loved. She lived with passion and verve and humor.
She was my inspiration.
I first met Henny on a Sunday afternoon almost 11 years ago shortly after I started dating her son Robert. I learned later that she had demanded it after my name had been repeatedly dropped at a family dinner the night before. Apparently she had turned to Robert and said “That’s enough – now who the hell is this Kelly?!”
She couldn’t have yet known that soon I would be her biggest fan.
There are two things that no one can deny. The first is that Henny’s sons Robert and Peter both married very strong and outspoken women. The second is that both Robert and Peter adored their mother.
I like to think that perhaps Henny’s sons see a little bit of their mother in both LeeAnne and I, but perhaps I flatter myself, because truly, Henny was an original.
Henny was born in 1935 in The Hague in the Netherlands. Much of her childhood was spent under Nazi occupation. She didn’t like to talk about those years but she allowed this: there was hunger, there was pain and there was the constant fear that her older brother Eugene would be caught and punished for his role in the underground resistance.
Eugene was eventually caught and his death in a concentration camp was followed a few years later by her mother’s death, of a broken heart, Henny said.
But Henny, the baby of the family was already showing the determination and the resilience that we associate with her all these years later. At the earliest possible opportunity she joined the Dutch air force and immigrated to western Canada. A few years later in Toronto the gorgeous Dutch girl met a dashing Austrian immigrant named Karl Scherer and fell madly in love.
When she dated Karl Henny worked as a flight attendant. She said they would routinely pile into his little car and break all land speed records trying to get her to the Toronto airport in time for work where she was supposed to board the plane a half hour before passengers.
They never made it on time. But they didn’t care: They were on Scherer time.
Scherer time, for those of you who don’t know, runs approximately a half hour behind everyone else’s time.
Rob says one of his earliest memories was of his mom driving him to school every day and breaking more land speed records in the process. He remembers that one day the priest came over the intercom and advised all the students to keep a lookout and report on a green Chevy Nova that was loudly peeling into and out of the parking lot every morning.
Rob says he remembers how his classmates’ eyes widened around him and a whisper rippled through the room – “THAT’S ROB’S MOM!”
Yes, Henny was always in a hurry. But that was only because she was determined to make every minute of every day count. She had no time to waste and no patience for wasted time.
Right up until Christmas Henny looked after my son Graham one day a week while I was at work. I grew accustomed to arriving home to find our grocery shopping done, our house cleaned, our windows washed and our lawn and garden tended. And as for our son? He would be thoroughly loved, thoroughly exhausted and thoroughly proud of his new found ability to swear in Dutch.
Yes, I was spoiled to have a babysitter like Henny. We were all spoiled because Henny loved and cared for her family with the same zest and enthusiasm she brought to every area of her life.
Henny’s grandchildren Jordan, Cailey and Graham were her pride and her joy. She loved them with a ferocity that was absolutely beautiful to behold. She went out of her way to make each of them feel special and spend time with them individually. She really considered their personalities and thought, really thought, about how she could best try and meet their emotional needs.
Henny was thoughtful that way with all of us. She was always thinking about what we might need and was often stopping by with groceries we were short of, incidentals we hadn’t had time to buy and clothing and small gifts that she thought we would enjoy.
As a newlywed I will admit that it took me some time to adjust to having a mother-in-law who was such a big part of my day to day life. But very soon, and especially after the birth of my son, I took it for what it was: a true blessing.
I already have a wonderful mother and I like to think it is she who taught me how to be a mother myself. But Henny became my second mother and she taught me something different. Henny taught me how to be a mother-in-law: she taught me that when you have a son, if you want to stay close to that son, you must open your heart and love his wife as if she were a daughter.
And so she did.
And I loved her back. And I am all the richer for it – we are ALL the richer for her love. Karl, Peter, LeeAnne, Robert and I and especially her grandchildren. Our family’s challenge from this day forward will be to continue to love one other the way she loved us.
And I think we will.
I think we will try and love each other with the same kind of passion that she had for us. Because that is what Henny would have wanted and everyone here knows that when Henny wanted something she usually got it.
In fact, I’m pretty sure that by now that all the souls in heaven – God, the angels and all the saints - they’re all running on Scherer time.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
My Little Henny- A Message of Love from Veronika and Pat Leliever
I always called her my Little Henny, as Hungarians frequently use the diminutive form for people they love. We loved her for the genuine, loyal and true Friend that she was to Pat, myself and our Christian and will always do so.
Tennis brought us together at the Don Mills Tennis Club circa 35 years ago, but the relationship that was to span a lifetime, was further strengthened by sharing in same values of deep love and dedication to our families, Little Henny to her boys, and I to my Little Man: Christian. We also shared in our love of nature: flowers, birds and animals. Our boys grew up together, and our families shared quality times together off the tennis courts, sharing in backyard BBQs, swimming, sometimes elegant dining, visiting craft shows, or swooning over orchid exhibits.
We loved the Scherer dinners, preceded by Henny asking Christian what he wanted her to prepare and it was always her special Dutch treats, followed by chocolate oreo/raspberry pie, Henny’s signature dessert. As true Europeans, we shared our love of delicious pastries “mitt schlag” of course, accompanied by Henny’s superb cups of coffee. And her Christmas cookies enhanced the holiday season ever so much more, shaped like tennis racquets to remind us of our beloved sport. They were wonderful times……..
Henny was forever feeding and finding lost cats, and we were forever rescuing lost dogs. Then, one day a beautiful cat found us in our backyard, and Henny adopted “Fluffy”. Indeed as Christian mentioned in his remembrances, we will never forget Henny’s calling “FLUFFY………” in a voice with a special lilt, dedicated to kitties only. We have fond memories of her loving our Macko, a little Lhasa Apso, who for years reciprocated in kind with plenty of demands for Henny’s attention and her cookies!
We continuously delighted in our backyard birds and enjoyed many little nesting broods tucked under the eaves of the Scherer home by their back deck which was built so lovingly by Robert. Where else could we go to participate in midnight feedings of peanut butter sandwiches to a family of raccoons: Mom and dad and some 6 babies, but to Henny and Karl’s backyard?
Following our relocation to Connecticut, we saw each other less, but the bond was never broken and in between visits, we spent many hours (generally late in the evenings due to both of us being night-people) on the phone. We all enjoyed Karl and Henny’s visits to our home and spent many joyous days discovering places new and quaint on the North Shore of Long Island Sound.
Our lives had been filled with friendship, much love and we were once again blessed by a special gift of visiting Henny at the hospital only two weeks ago, having the opportunity to share our optimism of her recovery, however arduous and painstaking it might be, embracing and visiting her again a day later.
Little did we know that shortly it was time for her to move on to a much better place, where she is no longer distressed or in pain, where she is whole and can receive us when we too will follow when God takes us. We regret not being able to attend the services at St. Bonaventure, but treasure our great fortunate of having spent time with her alive, smiling and chatting.
We cherish our wonderful memories of you and are blessed to have had the privilege of your friendship for so many years and yet it’s been way too short! We loved you Little Henny and will always do so.
Missing you greatly, Veronika and Pat Leliever
Tennis brought us together at the Don Mills Tennis Club circa 35 years ago, but the relationship that was to span a lifetime, was further strengthened by sharing in same values of deep love and dedication to our families, Little Henny to her boys, and I to my Little Man: Christian. We also shared in our love of nature: flowers, birds and animals. Our boys grew up together, and our families shared quality times together off the tennis courts, sharing in backyard BBQs, swimming, sometimes elegant dining, visiting craft shows, or swooning over orchid exhibits.
We loved the Scherer dinners, preceded by Henny asking Christian what he wanted her to prepare and it was always her special Dutch treats, followed by chocolate oreo/raspberry pie, Henny’s signature dessert. As true Europeans, we shared our love of delicious pastries “mitt schlag” of course, accompanied by Henny’s superb cups of coffee. And her Christmas cookies enhanced the holiday season ever so much more, shaped like tennis racquets to remind us of our beloved sport. They were wonderful times……..
Henny was forever feeding and finding lost cats, and we were forever rescuing lost dogs. Then, one day a beautiful cat found us in our backyard, and Henny adopted “Fluffy”. Indeed as Christian mentioned in his remembrances, we will never forget Henny’s calling “FLUFFY………” in a voice with a special lilt, dedicated to kitties only. We have fond memories of her loving our Macko, a little Lhasa Apso, who for years reciprocated in kind with plenty of demands for Henny’s attention and her cookies!
We continuously delighted in our backyard birds and enjoyed many little nesting broods tucked under the eaves of the Scherer home by their back deck which was built so lovingly by Robert. Where else could we go to participate in midnight feedings of peanut butter sandwiches to a family of raccoons: Mom and dad and some 6 babies, but to Henny and Karl’s backyard?
Following our relocation to Connecticut, we saw each other less, but the bond was never broken and in between visits, we spent many hours (generally late in the evenings due to both of us being night-people) on the phone. We all enjoyed Karl and Henny’s visits to our home and spent many joyous days discovering places new and quaint on the North Shore of Long Island Sound.
Our lives had been filled with friendship, much love and we were once again blessed by a special gift of visiting Henny at the hospital only two weeks ago, having the opportunity to share our optimism of her recovery, however arduous and painstaking it might be, embracing and visiting her again a day later.
Little did we know that shortly it was time for her to move on to a much better place, where she is no longer distressed or in pain, where she is whole and can receive us when we too will follow when God takes us. We regret not being able to attend the services at St. Bonaventure, but treasure our great fortunate of having spent time with her alive, smiling and chatting.
We cherish our wonderful memories of you and are blessed to have had the privilege of your friendship for so many years and yet it’s been way too short! We loved you Little Henny and will always do so.
Missing you greatly, Veronika and Pat Leliever
A Message of Love From Gonny, Tania, Dimitri and Max Delmaar
Henny was our far away Aunt, but she was always close to us in Holland.
Aunt Henny lived far away in Canada. She sent audio tapes with stories about how it was to live in Canada, and I remember that she came the first time around 1965 with Peter to Holland. It was a very special time.
She was always sending pictures and letters. Every time when she and Uncle Karl came to Holland we went to the Hague to the house where she lived and walked through the district and the beach.
It was very special to hear how it was in those times. And she remembered a lot of things. Once we had the chance to look in the house. The owners of the house had found and kept the Christmas stable of the family. And she recognized the dog which was missing a piece of the nose. It was really very emotional after so many years to find this back.
On another day we went on very sunny Queen's Day with the bike to the Queen's Market. It was fun with her to do such things.
I always will remember my Aunt as a very sweet aunt, always wanting to chat about this and that and very interested in people's lives.
We will miss her.
Aunt Henny lived far away in Canada. She sent audio tapes with stories about how it was to live in Canada, and I remember that she came the first time around 1965 with Peter to Holland. It was a very special time.
She was always sending pictures and letters. Every time when she and Uncle Karl came to Holland we went to the Hague to the house where she lived and walked through the district and the beach.
It was very special to hear how it was in those times. And she remembered a lot of things. Once we had the chance to look in the house. The owners of the house had found and kept the Christmas stable of the family. And she recognized the dog which was missing a piece of the nose. It was really very emotional after so many years to find this back.
On another day we went on very sunny Queen's Day with the bike to the Queen's Market. It was fun with her to do such things.
I always will remember my Aunt as a very sweet aunt, always wanting to chat about this and that and very interested in people's lives.
We will miss her.
A Message of Love From Lisa Raty
Henny brings many pleasant memories to mind and I'm privileged to have had her as a very good friend and neighbor for many years.
It is so very true that Henny had a zest for life and was a force of nature. She worked in her garden daily, adding new plants and expanding the landscape each year, and her orchids bloomed each spring.
She cared for and cherished nature's creatures from birds to cats and even rats. She was telling me how with Karl's help she was able to save a field rat that had fallen into their swimming pool. She released the poor thing into the ravine behind the house. Henny was a joy and the glue of the neighborhood.
Just a mention of vacation plans and she would offer to look after my cat, as she did on numerous occasions. As I told her at Christmastime, I truly enjoyed her visits in the evenings. We would often talk about our families. She cared for Karl deeply and was proud of her sons and their families. My prayers are with Karl and Peter and Robert and their families during this time of sorrow.
May the wonderful memories of a devoted wife, mother and Oma alleviate the pain of losing a loved one. May the hope of seeing our loved ones again for eternity give you renewed strength to live and enjoy life to the fullest as Henny did and would have liked all of us to do.
It is so very true that Henny had a zest for life and was a force of nature. She worked in her garden daily, adding new plants and expanding the landscape each year, and her orchids bloomed each spring.
She cared for and cherished nature's creatures from birds to cats and even rats. She was telling me how with Karl's help she was able to save a field rat that had fallen into their swimming pool. She released the poor thing into the ravine behind the house. Henny was a joy and the glue of the neighborhood.
Just a mention of vacation plans and she would offer to look after my cat, as she did on numerous occasions. As I told her at Christmastime, I truly enjoyed her visits in the evenings. We would often talk about our families. She cared for Karl deeply and was proud of her sons and their families. My prayers are with Karl and Peter and Robert and their families during this time of sorrow.
May the wonderful memories of a devoted wife, mother and Oma alleviate the pain of losing a loved one. May the hope of seeing our loved ones again for eternity give you renewed strength to live and enjoy life to the fullest as Henny did and would have liked all of us to do.
Where's Henny? A Message of Love From Nancy Kay
"Where's Henny?"
The scene would be Don Mills Tennis Club on any Thursday morning at 9:30 a.m. and the sounds would be the cries of red-winged blackbirds, and of Henny's teammates, asking one another "Where's Henny?"
Then we'd spot the familiar slim figure in a blue and green tracksuit walking up the path at an energetic pace, and she'd say "WHY do you guys always come so EARLY?"
As our valiant North York League Captain and as an award-winning tennis player for 40 years, Henny was forthright but fair-minded, a wise and skillful manager of the people on our team. I was fortunate enough to be Henny's partner on three different tennis teams in the past six years, and I learned that her fierce and fiery exterior on the court concealed a kind heart.
Every August it was a joy to behold how warmly Henny welcomed us into the lovely home and garden she had created, at our end-of-season potluck pool party. Henny would talk about Karl, her sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren.
She'd reminisce about her early days in Canada, when she worked as a flight attendant, and tell us stories about the birds and other wildlife who lived in the birch trees near her pool. Sometimes it was hard to believe that this affable, hospitable hostess who made such good cakes was the same Henny who was the steely-eyed feisty opponent on the tennis court.
But, hey, these contrasts were exactly what made our Henny such an unforgettable, quirky, strong-minded woman. Who can understand the mysterious formula that makes up a human being?
Henny lived her life with gusto, creativity, and enthusiasm, and was a wonderful friend to many people. That's why we are still trying to come to terms with the loss of a good friend. Our hearts go out to Karl, Peter and Lee-Anne, Robert and Kelly, and to her grandchildren, for their loss is so much greater than ours.
The scene would be Don Mills Tennis Club on any Thursday morning at 9:30 a.m. and the sounds would be the cries of red-winged blackbirds, and of Henny's teammates, asking one another "Where's Henny?"
Then we'd spot the familiar slim figure in a blue and green tracksuit walking up the path at an energetic pace, and she'd say "WHY do you guys always come so EARLY?"
As our valiant North York League Captain and as an award-winning tennis player for 40 years, Henny was forthright but fair-minded, a wise and skillful manager of the people on our team. I was fortunate enough to be Henny's partner on three different tennis teams in the past six years, and I learned that her fierce and fiery exterior on the court concealed a kind heart.
Every August it was a joy to behold how warmly Henny welcomed us into the lovely home and garden she had created, at our end-of-season potluck pool party. Henny would talk about Karl, her sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren.
She'd reminisce about her early days in Canada, when she worked as a flight attendant, and tell us stories about the birds and other wildlife who lived in the birch trees near her pool. Sometimes it was hard to believe that this affable, hospitable hostess who made such good cakes was the same Henny who was the steely-eyed feisty opponent on the tennis court.
But, hey, these contrasts were exactly what made our Henny such an unforgettable, quirky, strong-minded woman. Who can understand the mysterious formula that makes up a human being?
Henny lived her life with gusto, creativity, and enthusiasm, and was a wonderful friend to many people. That's why we are still trying to come to terms with the loss of a good friend. Our hearts go out to Karl, Peter and Lee-Anne, Robert and Kelly, and to her grandchildren, for their loss is so much greater than ours.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
A Message of Love From Renate Fuchs-Hodgins
This past Sunday my husband, Richard, woke me with the devastating news that our dear family friend, Henny Scherer, had passed away. It didn’t seem possible that this vivacious, kind, extraordinary and totally lovable person that was Henny could be gone.
My brother Trevor has written so beautifully of his memories of Henny and now I’d like to share a few of my own.
My family met Henny and Karl back in the 60’s when we were neighbours in a small apartment building on Don Mills Road. There was a communal feeling in the building, doors were propped open and, through my child’s eyes, it seemed that everyone moved freely between each other's homes. In those days mothers stayed at home and Henny was always dropping by, usually dressed in leotards and a turtleneck which made her appear very exotic to me.
It was during this time that Henny and Karl became family to our family. As new immigrants, we formed a strong connection and since our family had no blood relatives living in Canada, the Scherers became extended family. Henny and my Mom became fast friends then and this friendship would withstand the test of time. Henny became my mother’s best and most beloved friend.
I can’t remember which family moved first, but we were excited to move to our own house with a garden on Tremont Crescent and the Scherers moved just one street over, still within walking distance of each other. One of my funny memories of Henny was in our above ground pool at Tremont. Henny didn’t swim and, as I recall, was naturally a bit afraid of the water. My girlfriend and I convinced Henny that we could teach her to swim.
We began the lesson by trying to teach her to float. With me on one side of Henny and my friend, Gabby, on the other, we held her on her back and told her to flutter her feet and hands. She fluttered and fluttered but, when we let her go, she sank like a stone. We continued trying, all of us laughing hysterically, but looking back at it now, I realize she just wasn’t committed. Because anyone who knows Henny knows that if she were committed to something, she’d master it.
Over the next 40+ years, Henny and Karl were part of every milestone event in our lives – marriages, housewarmings, and baby showers. There were summer pool parties and the Christmas season usually included a visit as well. Whenever I had to chance to see Henny, she and I would chat and she would always have me rolling with laughter, often so hard that there were tears streaming down my face. She had such a natural wit and wonderful sharp perspective on life. I also loved and shared her profound love of animals.
Our thoughts and prayers are with Karl, Peter, LeeAnne, Robert, Kelly and the grandchildren during this unbelievably sad time. We share your grief and will miss Henny forever. She loved you all so very much.
My brother Trevor has written so beautifully of his memories of Henny and now I’d like to share a few of my own.
My family met Henny and Karl back in the 60’s when we were neighbours in a small apartment building on Don Mills Road. There was a communal feeling in the building, doors were propped open and, through my child’s eyes, it seemed that everyone moved freely between each other's homes. In those days mothers stayed at home and Henny was always dropping by, usually dressed in leotards and a turtleneck which made her appear very exotic to me.
It was during this time that Henny and Karl became family to our family. As new immigrants, we formed a strong connection and since our family had no blood relatives living in Canada, the Scherers became extended family. Henny and my Mom became fast friends then and this friendship would withstand the test of time. Henny became my mother’s best and most beloved friend.
I can’t remember which family moved first, but we were excited to move to our own house with a garden on Tremont Crescent and the Scherers moved just one street over, still within walking distance of each other. One of my funny memories of Henny was in our above ground pool at Tremont. Henny didn’t swim and, as I recall, was naturally a bit afraid of the water. My girlfriend and I convinced Henny that we could teach her to swim.
We began the lesson by trying to teach her to float. With me on one side of Henny and my friend, Gabby, on the other, we held her on her back and told her to flutter her feet and hands. She fluttered and fluttered but, when we let her go, she sank like a stone. We continued trying, all of us laughing hysterically, but looking back at it now, I realize she just wasn’t committed. Because anyone who knows Henny knows that if she were committed to something, she’d master it.
Over the next 40+ years, Henny and Karl were part of every milestone event in our lives – marriages, housewarmings, and baby showers. There were summer pool parties and the Christmas season usually included a visit as well. Whenever I had to chance to see Henny, she and I would chat and she would always have me rolling with laughter, often so hard that there were tears streaming down my face. She had such a natural wit and wonderful sharp perspective on life. I also loved and shared her profound love of animals.
Our thoughts and prayers are with Karl, Peter, LeeAnne, Robert, Kelly and the grandchildren during this unbelievably sad time. We share your grief and will miss Henny forever. She loved you all so very much.
A Message of Love from The Stewart Family
We are very saddened to hear of Tante Henny's passing.
She was a very kind and loving lady with a heart of gold. She lit up the lives of everyone she touched, making them feel special.
I remember when I came to stay with her, she made me feel so welcome sure that I had everything I needed. She took me to the zoo and Niagara Falls, but I will always remember when we went shopping at the mall.
We had some great laughs together and I will hold those memories forever in my heart.I feel very grateful to have had her in my life and she will be truly missed!!
She was a very kind and loving lady with a heart of gold. She lit up the lives of everyone she touched, making them feel special.
I remember when I came to stay with her, she made me feel so welcome sure that I had everything I needed. She took me to the zoo and Niagara Falls, but I will always remember when we went shopping at the mall.
We had some great laughs together and I will hold those memories forever in my heart.I feel very grateful to have had her in my life and she will be truly missed!!
A Mesasge of Love from The Arkay-Leliever Family
Peter,
I was aware of your mother's frail health of course through my mom, but I am simply stunned by the news of her passing.
We are so, so sorry for your family's loss; Henny was like a second mom to me growing up......she always cared so much about my education, my love life and my future.....we had many great times together as families and I find solace in thinking about them
"FLUFFYYYYYYYY".....I'll never forget her calling out! And our midnight BBQ's, Kroepoek chips, swimming and gossip was always a hoot. ("Hoot" another term forged into my memory by your mom)
Our entire family's thoughts and prayers are with you all and I know she is in a much, much better place and will be watching over ALL of us now and guiding us in her special ways.
Please take good care of dad and your little bro and I hope to see you soon!
Love,
The Arkay-Leliever family:
Christian, Elizabeth, Brittany, Kendall, Carson....Wolfie, Stanzi, Chippie and Lola!
I was aware of your mother's frail health of course through my mom, but I am simply stunned by the news of her passing.
We are so, so sorry for your family's loss; Henny was like a second mom to me growing up......she always cared so much about my education, my love life and my future.....we had many great times together as families and I find solace in thinking about them
"FLUFFYYYYYYYY".....I'll never forget her calling out! And our midnight BBQ's, Kroepoek chips, swimming and gossip was always a hoot. ("Hoot" another term forged into my memory by your mom)
Our entire family's thoughts and prayers are with you all and I know she is in a much, much better place and will be watching over ALL of us now and guiding us in her special ways.
Please take good care of dad and your little bro and I hope to see you soon!
Love,
The Arkay-Leliever family:
Christian, Elizabeth, Brittany, Kendall, Carson....Wolfie, Stanzi, Chippie and Lola!
Monday, March 16, 2009
I will remember
In the fall of 2000 a girlfriend and I visited Europe, along with my mother and Henny. Our destination was Prague by way of Vienna but we had a stop-over in Rome and spent a full day and night in the city. After a red-eye flight and a day of exploration we found ourselves in a tiny hotel room with a view of St. Peter’s Basilica.
Mom and I hunkered down in one room together, but we were jet-lagged and couldn’t sleep. And so we talked for a while about life, about family, about a million dreamy, inconsequential things. Then there was a knock at the door. It was Henny. She couldn’t sleep either and had heard us talking. Could she join the conversation?
There is something about the darkness, I think, that frees people to speak of the things that are too raw, too fragile to withstand daylight’s glare. And so as the moonlight streamed across the ancient city’s rooftops and into our room, she talked.
It had been years since she had been in Rome, she said. Just being in Europe brought back memories. Henny was five years old when German forces attacked the Netherlands. She lived in the capital De Hague throughout the Nazi occupation. She remembered that they were always hungry. That they boiled and ate tulip bulbs to stave off starvation.
There were no dogs and cats left in the city, but even as a little girl she knew better than to ask where they had gone. They were always cold in the winter, she said. There was no heating fuel so they burned everything they could to stay warm. City residents would bicycle to the outskirts of the city to forage firewood but the Nazis would set up checkpoints and confiscate their findings when they returned to the city.
She chuckled remembering how she and her little friends would ride their bikes out beyond the checkpoints to warn people to take an alternate route. She remembers the Nazis discovering what they were doing and how she peddled furiously away on her little girl bike as gunshots rang out behind her.
It was probably four in the morning. We were mesmerized. Her voice was quiet, but strong with a lilting Dutch accent. I remember meeting my mother’s eyes across the room and seeing that she too, was crying. I remember bowing my head and not wanting to make a noise, lest it break the spell.
She told us about her brother Eugene who was in the resistance movement and how she felt so proud of him, but was riddled with anxiety for her mother, who could barely function, so terrified was she that Eugene would be caught.
She remembered that he would return home occasionally with a precious block of cheese that all the neighbors would share. She remembers the Nazi officers searching their home for her brother. They found him eventually, she said.
Eugene was sent to a concentration camp. No one ever saw him again but after the war one of his cellmates from the camp tracked down her family and knocked on their door. He presented her mother with a note Eugene wrote for her before he died.
Her mother died shortly afterwards, mostly of a broken heart. Henny was ten. Her father was never the same, she said. He remarried a woman who didn’t like her so she joined the air force as soon as she turned 18 and immigrated to Canada at the first possible opportunity a few years later.
Her remembrances, that surreal night in Rome, are something I will never forget. When I told Rob, he said I had learned more in that evening about his mother’s childhood than he had ever known.
I am not surprised. Our parents are not like us. They do not value the constant self-analysis in which we indulge. Their hearts are strong because they protect them, they do not bear their souls for the quick fix of a sympathetic ear.
Henny was a happy, vibrant woman. She played competitive tennis at the provincial level. She was a superb gardener. She played so energetically with Graham that the mere mention of her starts him shrieking and running about the room.
She must have known that this child, this flesh of her flesh, would never fully understand what her childhood was like. She must know that none of her children or grandchildren would. It is a testament to her grace that she used to read my musings here and wasn’t disgusted by the pure self-indulgence of them.
It’s not easy to take a step back and realize that most of the choices we agonize over are pure luxuries, most of our worries as inconsequential as dandruff. But when I find myself worrying about time or money, or feeling hurt or slighted or frustrated or uncertain, I will take a step back and remember the stories that Henny told me that night in Rome.
I will remember.
Mom and I hunkered down in one room together, but we were jet-lagged and couldn’t sleep. And so we talked for a while about life, about family, about a million dreamy, inconsequential things. Then there was a knock at the door. It was Henny. She couldn’t sleep either and had heard us talking. Could she join the conversation?
There is something about the darkness, I think, that frees people to speak of the things that are too raw, too fragile to withstand daylight’s glare. And so as the moonlight streamed across the ancient city’s rooftops and into our room, she talked.
It had been years since she had been in Rome, she said. Just being in Europe brought back memories. Henny was five years old when German forces attacked the Netherlands. She lived in the capital De Hague throughout the Nazi occupation. She remembered that they were always hungry. That they boiled and ate tulip bulbs to stave off starvation.
There were no dogs and cats left in the city, but even as a little girl she knew better than to ask where they had gone. They were always cold in the winter, she said. There was no heating fuel so they burned everything they could to stay warm. City residents would bicycle to the outskirts of the city to forage firewood but the Nazis would set up checkpoints and confiscate their findings when they returned to the city.
She chuckled remembering how she and her little friends would ride their bikes out beyond the checkpoints to warn people to take an alternate route. She remembers the Nazis discovering what they were doing and how she peddled furiously away on her little girl bike as gunshots rang out behind her.
It was probably four in the morning. We were mesmerized. Her voice was quiet, but strong with a lilting Dutch accent. I remember meeting my mother’s eyes across the room and seeing that she too, was crying. I remember bowing my head and not wanting to make a noise, lest it break the spell.
She told us about her brother Eugene who was in the resistance movement and how she felt so proud of him, but was riddled with anxiety for her mother, who could barely function, so terrified was she that Eugene would be caught.
She remembered that he would return home occasionally with a precious block of cheese that all the neighbors would share. She remembers the Nazi officers searching their home for her brother. They found him eventually, she said.
Eugene was sent to a concentration camp. No one ever saw him again but after the war one of his cellmates from the camp tracked down her family and knocked on their door. He presented her mother with a note Eugene wrote for her before he died.
Her mother died shortly afterwards, mostly of a broken heart. Henny was ten. Her father was never the same, she said. He remarried a woman who didn’t like her so she joined the air force as soon as she turned 18 and immigrated to Canada at the first possible opportunity a few years later.
Her remembrances, that surreal night in Rome, are something I will never forget. When I told Rob, he said I had learned more in that evening about his mother’s childhood than he had ever known.
I am not surprised. Our parents are not like us. They do not value the constant self-analysis in which we indulge. Their hearts are strong because they protect them, they do not bear their souls for the quick fix of a sympathetic ear.
Henny was a happy, vibrant woman. She played competitive tennis at the provincial level. She was a superb gardener. She played so energetically with Graham that the mere mention of her starts him shrieking and running about the room.
She must have known that this child, this flesh of her flesh, would never fully understand what her childhood was like. She must know that none of her children or grandchildren would. It is a testament to her grace that she used to read my musings here and wasn’t disgusted by the pure self-indulgence of them.
It’s not easy to take a step back and realize that most of the choices we agonize over are pure luxuries, most of our worries as inconsequential as dandruff. But when I find myself worrying about time or money, or feeling hurt or slighted or frustrated or uncertain, I will take a step back and remember the stories that Henny told me that night in Rome.
I will remember.
A Message of Love From The Fuchs Family
Henny – Such a Special Person
I have grown up knowing Henny as my other Mother. I knew Henny for as far as I can remember. My mom, Lore Fuchs, and Henny were best of friends.
It is with sadness and sorrow to hear that Henny will not be able to continue with us on earth and look down upon us from the sky.
I tend to remember the following things about Henny:
Rum/Coke - I was always entrusted when I was a kid to ensure we had coke at the house for when Henny & Karl joined our family for dinner.
Shortbread - Henny loved her shortbread and I became quite fond of it because of her.
Swimming - my sister and I and after a while my wife and I would walk down the back path to Henny's pool and enjoy a nice swim in the pool - I still remember today standing with Peter at the bottom of the pool while they were still building it.
Christmas Dinners - My wife and I would always enjoy having a Christmas dinner because we knew Karl and Henny would come along with parts of my family and my wife's to create such a happy time when usually Henny started talking about something funny - and the laughs would roll into the wee hours.
Canasta - Henny loved this card game and I would always enjoy her spunk when playing.
Every member of my family is devastated by the news and we will all miss her.
I will miss my other Mom very much and although she is gone - she is probably on the courts somewhere smashing the winning point for victory.
My Mom has lost her best friend, my son has lost a surrogate grandma and I have lost a very influential person in my life. Henny was nothing but a loving, kind, fun person who was part of our family and my life always and forever.
I know she knows how much I loved having her in my life and that she was able to see my first born son Myles.
Trevor Fuchs
Speaking on behalf of the Fuchs Family
I have grown up knowing Henny as my other Mother. I knew Henny for as far as I can remember. My mom, Lore Fuchs, and Henny were best of friends.
It is with sadness and sorrow to hear that Henny will not be able to continue with us on earth and look down upon us from the sky.
I tend to remember the following things about Henny:
Rum/Coke - I was always entrusted when I was a kid to ensure we had coke at the house for when Henny & Karl joined our family for dinner.
Shortbread - Henny loved her shortbread and I became quite fond of it because of her.
Swimming - my sister and I and after a while my wife and I would walk down the back path to Henny's pool and enjoy a nice swim in the pool - I still remember today standing with Peter at the bottom of the pool while they were still building it.
Christmas Dinners - My wife and I would always enjoy having a Christmas dinner because we knew Karl and Henny would come along with parts of my family and my wife's to create such a happy time when usually Henny started talking about something funny - and the laughs would roll into the wee hours.
Canasta - Henny loved this card game and I would always enjoy her spunk when playing.
Every member of my family is devastated by the news and we will all miss her.
I will miss my other Mom very much and although she is gone - she is probably on the courts somewhere smashing the winning point for victory.
My Mom has lost her best friend, my son has lost a surrogate grandma and I have lost a very influential person in my life. Henny was nothing but a loving, kind, fun person who was part of our family and my life always and forever.
I know she knows how much I loved having her in my life and that she was able to see my first born son Myles.
Trevor Fuchs
Speaking on behalf of the Fuchs Family
A Message of Love from Monqiue
Tante Henny will be missed by so many people but for you and your family I am sure it is extremely difficult.
In my heart she holds a very special place. I grew up in a house full of boys where boys rule........ Tante Henny was like a shinning little beacon far away. I could always feel her love and care because she was always there when you needed her. Her family was number one and she made you know it in a quiet way. She was always writing me letters and calling to talk as often as she could.
Growing up in a big family was wonderful but I remember many times when Tante Henny would spoil me and back then it was such a treat. I remember when we went to Toronto to visit she took me to a huge record store and let me pick out my very first album,(the Partridge Family and I still have it!) she always encouraged my love for music.........and then every Christmas when "The Package" came in the mail there was always one inside with my name on it.
Tante Henny made me feel so special....and it did not end there.....she continued when my children were born and every Christmas without fail, there in the post box was a parcel delivery note. My children got to feel like what it was like to have such a special Auntie.
I know gifts are not everything but it really wasn't the gift, but the surprise of each gift she choose for each and every one of us....the love behind that gift was felt.
All the trips out to see us when we were small. I think of what a brave lady she was. I always thought it was so inspiring how she made taking the trip with her boys such an adventure. She used to say she wanted her kids to know their western cousins....we were very lucky.
I think such a kind and beautiful soul brought up wonderful sons and I know that sweet part of her will live on in you.She will always be watching over you and taking care of you in her own way.
I will miss my Tante Henny and always be grateful I had such a wonderful lady in my life!!!
In my heart she holds a very special place. I grew up in a house full of boys where boys rule........ Tante Henny was like a shinning little beacon far away. I could always feel her love and care because she was always there when you needed her. Her family was number one and she made you know it in a quiet way. She was always writing me letters and calling to talk as often as she could.
Growing up in a big family was wonderful but I remember many times when Tante Henny would spoil me and back then it was such a treat. I remember when we went to Toronto to visit she took me to a huge record store and let me pick out my very first album,(the Partridge Family and I still have it!) she always encouraged my love for music.........and then every Christmas when "The Package" came in the mail there was always one inside with my name on it.
Tante Henny made me feel so special....and it did not end there.....she continued when my children were born and every Christmas without fail, there in the post box was a parcel delivery note. My children got to feel like what it was like to have such a special Auntie.
I know gifts are not everything but it really wasn't the gift, but the surprise of each gift she choose for each and every one of us....the love behind that gift was felt.
All the trips out to see us when we were small. I think of what a brave lady she was. I always thought it was so inspiring how she made taking the trip with her boys such an adventure. She used to say she wanted her kids to know their western cousins....we were very lucky.
I think such a kind and beautiful soul brought up wonderful sons and I know that sweet part of her will live on in you.She will always be watching over you and taking care of you in her own way.
I will miss my Tante Henny and always be grateful I had such a wonderful lady in my life!!!
Celebrating Henny's Life
Hendrika “Henny” Scherer (nee d’Haene) – Passed away peacefully in hospital in Toronto on March 15th, 2009 after a brief battle with cancer at the age of 73. Henny was a force of nature on the tennis courts and off.
Her quick wit, fearless attitude and zest for life inspired all who met her. She was the adored wife of Karl Scherer, cherished mom to Peter (LeeAnne Wright) and Robert (Kelly Graham-Scherer) and beloved Oma to Jordan, Cailey and Graham. Henny is survived by brother John (Julie) d’Haene and sister Helene (Tom) Delmaar and predeceased by brothers Pierre (Luuk) and Eugenius d’Haene.
Henny will be deeply missed by many nieces and nephews as well as friends and neighbors in Don Mills where she was involved in the community for nearly 50 years. Funeral Mass will be held at 11:30 a.m. on Thursday, March 19th at St. Bonaventure Catholic Church, 1300 Leslie St. Reception at Kelly and Robert's house will follow. Donations in lieu of flowers may be made in her name to the Toronto Humane Society or the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation of Canada.
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